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The 10 Things We Will Miss Most in 30 Years

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Translation by:

Kait Bolongaro

LifestyleNostalgia: 2014 in Review

Some collect Malboros, while others are already printing the Internet. In order to save things that will no longer exist, we have compiled a list of 10 items from 2014 that will be missed in 2044. Right click, and file it under important.

Cigarettes

The OECD has confirmed that inequality continues to grow in our world. Since there is no smoke without flames, the cigarette - already a luxury product - will soon represent the most intoxicating contrasts. As the cigarette is already demonised by public health policies popular with upper class, smoking will at least let the rich die in peace.

Why will we miss cigarettes? Find out here.

Internships

Our generation accepted internships. Perhaps. But the future generation will accept worse, a campaign promise of the new President of the European UnionMarion Maréchal-Le Pen, for the elections in 2044.

Why will we miss internships? Find out here.

Credit cards

We can already survive without them. But soon, my friends, you will be able pay with your tongue or by blinking your eyes. Then you can do what you have always dreamed of: cutting up your credit card with scissors. 

For the rest, there is an article.

Passports

We are generation Easy Jet. They will be generation easy. No more borders, maybe not even a Mom and Dad. In 2044, we will go where we want but we will try to find ourselves a lot.

For everything that concerns your identity, take a look here.

Voter's card

Ok, well, this isn't really going to be missed among youth. But if we stop obliging them to go to their former elementary school gym to vote and instead, vote via our networks, a wildcard party could triumph over all other electoral candidates? AND CAUSE A FUCKING TSUNAMI.

To play, click here

Generation Y

Because in 2044, we will have to redo the alphabet. Because the lol-cats, they cannot last. Because, we, whether you like it or not, invented everything: from Facebook to Conchita Wurst

To find out what will exist after the 'Y', click here

The Deutsche Qualität

In 2044, Angela Merkel will be 90 years old and live in space. Mario Götze, the savior of the World Cup in Brazil, will make a splash on the sausage market, but in India. Then, the storm. The new German Godwin law is 2014.

8 reasons raisons to believe Germany is going to crash. This is not a Buzz Feed article.

Maternity leave

It's not very cool but it's true. Tomorrow, we will freeze your ovaries to give birth to a bionic child, programmed by Facebook's edge rank. All while still working.

If you don't believe us, go here

Heating

A climate yin and yang. It's too cold in winter, too hot in summer; global warming will let you save your pennies to donate to castaway Venice. If in thirty years later, the Ministry of Environment hasn't banned fires in chimneys.

Don't get cold, come inside here.

Real English

This is kind of the consequence of globalisation, and a real chance for the French and other Europeans. Proper English will be abandoned little by little and replaced by the expat who won't hesitate to ruin the grammar of every sentence. See iou in theurty four.

If you want to save your skin, surf over here.

This article is part of our end-of-year series devoted to nostalgia. Reality often disappoints us. What is our history? What do we miss today, what memories do we recall? And finally - to what extent is our memory contaminated by the experiences of others and how do we ensure that all of our memories truly belong to us?

Story by

Matthieu Amaré

Je viens du sud de la France. J'aime les traditions. Mon père a été traumatisé par Séville 82 contre les Allemands au foot. J'ai du mal avec les Anglais au rugby. J'adore le jambon-beurre. Je n'ai jamais fait Erasmus. Autant vous dire que c'était mal barré. Et pourtant, je suis rédacteur en chef du meilleur magazine sur l'Europe du monde.

Translated from 10 trucs qui seront cultes dans 30 ans